Summary the chapter

Running Head: LOVE AND MONEY In chapter seven the argues that money and intimacy present great challenges in any thriving relationship and discusses strategies for overcoming the challenges. Different partners react differently when it comes to handling money issues. Some will feel free to discuss it while others will choose not to. Despite all the differences, relationships can still be made better. The role that money plays in our relationships can be improved if only we get on the right path of balancing our needs with the money available.
A number of obstacles arise when handling money matters with partners but strategies are also there to overcome the same. One of them is by embracing change, by first making a promise and doing all the best in your capacity to better the current situation. Complaining about your partner’s expenditure is an option since it is hard to force someone into doing what they don’t want to do. You tend to be happier once you let go of the complaints. The least the complaints the better and happier the relationship becomes. Change is gradual, with time the little changes will add up to big bucks and much more happiness.
To make things in a relationship perfect there are golden rules that act as a guide. First, what is mine is ours. It is the first rule in a relationship, especially for the married couples. Things change in marriage, the money becomes ” ours”. The debts, the decisions about money all belong to both the partners. Once marriage is based on sharing, rather than fairness relationships work better since partners put their money together and stop worrying about what belongs to each individual. This has worked for me personally and I believe can help many other individuals and couples get out financial problems.
Secondly strive to be Honest. Honesty is the best policy. Good relationships are based on trust. Mistrusts and evasions are one of the difficult cycles to break. All the same of you find out your partner is not honest about their money that is the best reason to be honest with your money so as to save your relationship. Such a commitment will lead to real financial success. Rule number three, stop playing the blame game. Reason being both of you in the relationship are responsible for your money. The past should not affect your current decisions. If you are the one earning and your partner only spends, both of you are fully responsible. It is better off to let go of the past and get on with the better future you deserve
Rule number four, give each other some free money. Trust comes in effect once again. Sit down with your partner and make an agreement on what both of you can afford and share among yourselves by doing so the fear that you will fall into bankruptcy will not be an issue. With free money, there is no right or wrong expenditures. Give each other space to do things that make them happy. In my case for instance once we have budgeted and are adhering to the budget I do not care about what my partner is doing with the extra money. Rule number four, always share decisions and responsibility. Being a student with my family in Canada I have learnt from experience that balancing needs and responsibilities is key to financial success in relationships.
Finally it is important to act fair. It is better not to say hurtful things to your partner about their financial limits. I have come to understand that blaming your partner on a joint decision that flopped may not help, rather I own up my contribution to the decision. Avoid generalizations; such words can cause raging battles. Hold your tongue since you cannot take it back. The greatest lesson from the article is that no matter where we are coming from, financial issues in our relationships can still be made better.