Good admission essay about statement of purpose

I am applying to the Colorado State University Master’s program in Management Practice. I hold a Bachelor’s in Home Economics from the University of Tabuk in Saudi Arabia and I am determined to continue to develop my knowledge and acquire new valuable skills to become a successful marketing professional. At the moment, I am applying to this study field because my mother owns a small firm in Jordan that designs bicycles. My responsibilities at the firm include designing new types of bicycles for rent and help attract customers. After obtaining my Master’s degree, I will be able to assist with accounting and effective communications in business.
Soon after graduation, I had an excellent opportunity to work for Dr. Suliman at AL Habib Hospital. I was responsible to schedule appointments for patients and update the system entries to make it easier for the doctor and patients. In return, I was thanked for my humble and simple patient services by the hospital management. My supervisor said that I was amongst a few people who proved oneself and who was a vital part of the hospital team, and that I worked with all love and loyalty, saying, “ You are a role model that we honor and we learn from, and you have to achieve your dream and become an important member of society, who builds a growing future for their country.” I would really love to continue my work there, but another chance arose – the chance for me to obtain a higher education abroad.
My first year to study at a university far away from my home and family was difficult. I did experience some challenges, such as living in dorms, which was a very bad environment with negative influences on me. Living without my family and close friends led me to feel homesick in many ways, which negatively affected my grades for the first year.
After my first year, I lived with my sister and never felt homesick again. Moreover, I made many friends who supported me when I was in need of it. I also became familiar with professors and academic methods of studying, such as submitting assignments and making presentations. In a short time, I became an organized person. I finally found myself in a good environment, which pushed me to success, academic improvement, and completion of my degree.
As a mature person, I am able and ready to take on the new challenges of graduate school. I am an intelligent, highly motivated, capable and passionate individual who can achieve her career goals with ease. My short-term goal is to complete my English Academic Program, and my ultimate goal is to enroll in a two-year program upon which I will attain my Master’s degree. My long-term goal is to become the General Manager at my mother’s bicycle firm and to expand its current business. As part of my Bachelor’s program, I have taken tailored classes in Fashion Design, Management, and Communications. I am confident and my goals are set to be achievable and realistic. As a result, I will apply all my best efforts to finish the graduate degree in a timely fashion. Finally, I have chosen this graduate school because of its two outstanding representatives, Kathleen J. Kelly and Brian S. Fugate. From them, I am prepared to learn and seek answers to my questions about marketing and management strategies on how to become a successful player in the world market.
Presently, I have a successful academic learning experience, which led me to choose the Colorado State University to complete my degree and succeed in my career. Besides, I am really content with a good environment at Fort Collins, where I stay with my father and sisters. In short, it would be an honor to become a successful representative of the Marketing Practice Master’s program at Colorado State University.
Thank you for your consideration.