English 2 December, Argument in Chuck Klosterman Style: Wicked Stepmothers Whoever thought that stepmothers in fairy tales are evil and ugly should question their logic. Maybe it is a little too late to alter your perception of these so-called villains. To understand the characters of stepmothers and defend the interests of intellectual freedom and justice it is necessary to look at them from another point of view. In this case, it will become easier to understand how these villains are told to be scheming and wicked creatures whose main goal in life is to eradicate childhood heroines and obstruct their path toward these cheesy happy-ever-afters. Let me put some logic into your puny gullible minds.
First, what is ugly? To make the definition easier for your brains, ugly means “ not pleasant to look at1”. If these stepmothers are actually as ugly as their creators (Hans Christian Andersen and Brothers Grimm are definitely no GQ models2), rich men would never decide to marry them. Rich? Yes. The stepmothers are supposedly after your heroines inheritance, right? Attractive? They must be, or they would never be called “ beauties” worth of royal attention. All these facts just push my point further3. Get real! Do you really believe that Prince Charles during his younger years would marry somebody like Susan Boyle4 — a poor, hideous nobody? Yea, Prince Charles is not an eye-candy5, but instead of this he is f—ing rich.
Second, what is evil? It is quite elementary, Watson6! Evil is the opposite of good. Then so, what is good? Heroes and heroines are good. Yea, I agree to a certain extent (Robin Hood, or anyone else? 7). So, thank you for helping me arrive at my point that if heroines are good, they must be known for doing good deeds to people. What exactly did Snow White, Cinderella, and the rest of these women did to be called heroines? All of them are melanin-deprived.
Let us take Snow White as an example. She lacks courage. Escaping the huntsman is out of the mans kindness and not out of Snow Whites fighting skills. She even broke into the house of the seven little men who were all taken by her beauty. Sure, she offered her domestic services in exchange for a place to stay. And what about her almost getting killed by poison because of her moronic trust on an ugly stranger who gave her a fruit? This has nothing in common with heroism. Well, she survived several attempts at her life. She had to survive from pure luck and from the perversion of the handsome lord who happened to pass by and used a chance to dmonstrate his necrophilia8.
What about Cinderella? Her dissatisfaction from housework is not a good feature of hers. It is a trait of a lazy person. If she does not like doing household chores, then just say so! She is being maltreated? Get a lawyer and file a case9! These fairy tale writers thought that it is noble and heroic for females to suffer in silence. Moreover, they thought that it was evil if the stepmothers lose their patience in upbringing their stepdaughters. The latter seem to like nothing except playing the role of damsels in distress. That is why no wonder that there were constant problems and misunderstanding between girls and their stepmothers. The situations are the same and it even seems that they are all married to the same “ Prince Charming10
Works Cited
Tatar, Maria. The Hard Facts of the Grimms’ Fairy Tales. New Jersey: Princeton University
Press, 2003. Print.
